dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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