So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
