she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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