Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
