this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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