I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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