I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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