What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
