I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize