Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
