I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
