either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
