i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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