i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
