a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I love black thongs
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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