She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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