I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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