Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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