i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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