I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
