Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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