Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
