some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
