you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You made out with two different species that night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
