Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
