I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize