someone get that fucking seahorse.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
