Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
