Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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