I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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