Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
