I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yo dont text me then not text me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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