Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
