...so i touched it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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