Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
