THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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