Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
