I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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