do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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