i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
