remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
