This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
