Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
they're like a gay fantastic four
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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