Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
