I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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