I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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