I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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