now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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