Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
