You work out of a Hotel?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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