I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
