Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
