I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
