My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
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