Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
