therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
