my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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