so explain again why im purple
no
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
