Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
