He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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