I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
