no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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