just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
