billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize