At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
