Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
