i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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