hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
